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How To Avoid Being Caught In A Controlling Relationship

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Even though controlling relationships are almost universally considered to be negative and very undesirable, they are far more prevalant than people realize. They are primarily the by-product of children being raised in homes with one or more controlling parents, and/or a highly unstable environment due to negative events.

The person who is trying to do the controlling is almost always trying to compensate for the “out of control” nature of the environment they grew up in. Internal fears of life spiralling out of control plague people with regular control problems. Their context for life was set in childhood and they often continue living out of that paradigm even though it’s no longer relevant.

The unstable home environment could have been a result of an alcoholic parent(s), an absent workaholic parent(s), the breakdown of the marriage, or some form of physical or emotional abuse. If a parent withholds love and affection as a means of keeping the child under their thumb, this destructive behaviour can carry over into adult relationships and cause a lot of problems.

The person who chooses to marry or date the controller is doing so because of one or a combination of the following reasons. 1. This is what they grew up with and it’s what they’re accustomed to. Although it’s not pleasant, being controlled is strangely comfortable. 2. They are attempting to change the controller, to reform them. This is often done unknowingly. The unconcious intention is to try and repair a disappointing relationship they had with their parent(s). 3. Being in a relationship with a controller makes them look good, because when they measure their own behaviour against the controller’s, they look like their doing a pretty good job of running their life, even though they’re probably not. 4. As times life seems easier while in a relationship with a controller because the controller makes most if not all the decisions for both people. It gives them someone to blame when things don’t work out right because…they didn’t make the decision!?!?

There are a few things to consider if you are looking to steer clear of a controlling relationship.

1. If being controlled is what you are used to, what you grew up with, then it’s vital to realize that “you are not responsible for the environment you grew up in.” In dysfunctional homes, the children tend to take responsibility for the parent’s problematic behaviours. In controlling homes it’s common for the parent(s) to blame the child as a means of off loading responsibility and thus paralyzing the child. In order to drive it deep into your subconcious mind, I suggest you repeat that phrase over and over. “The environment you grew up in was not your responsibility, not your doing.” As importantly, “you are 100% response-able, able to respond, to your life as an adult.” You can learn the skills and run your life well without the need to have a controlling person manipulating you.

2. If it’s your intention to try and reform a controller….please stop. Trying to control something you have no control over is the best possible way to create insanity in an individual. The only control any of us have is over ourselves. We can gain tremendous increases in our sense of control over our own lives if we will spend our time working on our own hangups and misgivings. Efforts to correct a controlling person are really only futile attempts to control them.

3. As an attempt to cover up your lack of personal initiative, don’t hide behind a controlling person’s unhealthy actions to make yourself look good. Find a reason for living that brings joy to you and others. Do some research into your life purpose. Why are you here? We’ve most likely never met, you and I, yet I am quite sure you have abilities and gifts that can be used to make the world a better place to live.

4. Learn how to make decisions for yourself. Being in a relationship with a controlling person can be pretty terrific because they are more than happy to make most if not all the decisions. That seems to make things easy, except that you aren’t developing the habit of making good decisions. This step is primarily about your will and rarely about skill. “But I don’t know how!” you protest. You will learn. Bit by bit, day by day. The process of learning to make better choices is the same as learning any new skill, it gets better and better with more practice. Practice does not make perfect, but it sure makes life a lot more pleasant!

Finding My Heart – Interactive Romance Game To Enjoy Your Free Time

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Do you like romantic stories? How about trying out interactive one? Finding My Heart is an awesome adventure game, where you’ve got to learn emotions to get back your love.

The game starts with a short introduction, where your girlfriend throws you out the door because “you” (the game character) only play the computer games and don’t devote any time to her! (Sounds familiar? Anyone?) Now, you have to learn to express your love to bring love back into your relationship and fix up the broken love.

The characters in Finding My Heart are extremely lively, cute and memorable. While they don’t talk real language, the emotions they express through the body language and the small speech bubble icons are very understandable and you’ll find yourself enjoying those little scenes and laughing on how cute this looks. The storyline is quite touching and won’t leave anybody indifferent.

The aim of Finding My Heart is to learn 6 different communication skills and use them to convince your girlfriend to get back together. At the start of the game you only have 1 skill – talking. But that’s obviously not enough. It’s funny to see how that doesn’t work with the hobo – click him and he’ll start talking, click your talking skill – and both of them will start talking not listening each other. That’s a perfect cartoonish and funny example how it often happens in real life, so you might even learn something from the game!

To learn new skills, you have to use those skills you already know in the correct order on different characters – every character has 1 skill for you to learn, so keep trying different combinations on different characters to get what you need. Once you get all the skills, go back to your girlfriend and use all your skills to win her heart again!

There are secret coins hidden throughout the game – a total of 5. Once you finish the game, click the “skip” arrow on the “The End” screen to go to the game shop, and there you can use your game coins to buy some funny stuff from the game. I recommend you looking at the Sketch Pad – how the game was created, it’s a fun things to see. If you’ve liked the game characters, you can also get the Avatar Pack, Icon Pack, Desktop Image or Music Pack.

All in all, this is a great game, and is definitely recommended to everyone! You have nothing to lose – it’s free, it doesn’t take much time, and it’s really fun! Just load up the game and see if you like it.

How To Win Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight Do It Before He Breaks Up With You!

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You can’t avoid fights in relationships because fighting it’s a part of it and there is nothing you can do. If you had a very serious fight with your boyfriend and right now you want to win him back but don’t know how don’t worry because I have 3 excellent tips for you to follow! Stay with me and keep reading

Break the ice first although we both know that men don’t have the patience to cut of the contact for too long, I wouldn’t advice you to test the limits right now because it’s not worth it! If you see he is still acting like a little child after 3 days, be the adult one and give him a call or sent him a text message to give him a sign you are open for contact!

Act like nothing happened even if you are hurt, swallow your pride and don’t show him you are bothered by what he said to you. Sometimes ignoring the fight is the best way to get over it, just open a new list and erase this bad day from your memory. Few days after getting back you can tell him he hurt you and I’m sure he’ll gladly apologize!

If you know you hurt him you have to be the first one to say you are sorry. Don’t let him wait too much because it will make him feel even worth. I know it will make you seem a little weak but that’s how relationships work sometimes you also have to apologize because you are not always right!

The Psychology of the S&M Lifestyle

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For many years, the concept of being flogged, humiliated, and whipped has long been associated with punishment and suffering. To be demeaned in this manner was unacceptable for most people, creating a social stigma that stands to this day. The stigma is so strong that people who want to go through that sort of treatment willingly were seen as having had their mental health compromised. In some circles, it can also be considered a sign of poor sexual health. However, according to more recent findings, neither mental nor sexual health are compromised by a desire to be bound and dominated. The Sadism and Masochism (S&M) community are not a group of deviants with poor mental health, but simply one that has tastes that vary from the norm.

In some ways, it allows people to be able to better connect to a side of themselves that has been suppressed. For example, one woman who enjoyed choking her partner during orgasm had a childhood of suppressing emotions and feelings. She had grown up psychologically suppressing things like sexual desire and her own need for a meaningful relationship. While she had outgrown most of it by adulthood, she remained partially detached from the act of intercourse, leaving her to regard the activity as bland and unexciting. It was only when she discovered the psychological “high” she got from choking her partner that she started to enjoy sex. Her psychologist believes that the act of choking someone has helped her bridge the mental gap between her desires and her personality, allowing her to temporarily let go of her inhibitions.

Some psychologists have also come to believe that S&M may also be connected to stress relief and escapism. In general, members of the S&M community engage in role-playing during sessions, with a person who usually appears as a timid librarian being a foul-mouthed, whip-toting dominatrix in her basement. This role-playing temporarily grants them a reprieve from the nature of their lives, giving them a much needed escape from the stress and anxiety of the modern world. The nature of the activity makes it such that the people involved focus only on each other and the raw physical sensations of the acts, allowing them a short amount of time to get away from whatever it is they feel a need to get away from. While this may not explain the reasons for the entire S&M community, it may explain some of the motivations behind this behavior.

It should be noted that the S&M community is a separate group from people who have sexual sadism. The core difference is that S&M practitioners are perfectly sane individuals who simply enjoy playing roles that they would not be expected to in their everyday lives. Activities for them are consensual and there is a complex web of unspoken rituals and unwritten rules that prevent either participant from inflicting permanent or serious harm upon one another. In contrast, sexual sadism is often non-consensual and, by the very nature of the activities, is designed to inflict as much harm as possible for as long as possible. There are some circles that believe sexual sadists are the reason why the S&M community normally shuns the terms sadist and masochist, preferring to avoid the negative psychological connotation.

One benefit that accepting S&M as a part of someone’s private life has had is an enhancement of one’s sex life. People who have come to accept it and have found partners who welcome it have reported that their sex lives have improved, as well as their emotional connection to one another. They report that there is a deeper sense of connection and understanding, likely due to the openness needed for both partners to accept such “unusual” tastes.

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Piolo Admits Relationship With Kc Concepcion

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Hunk actor Piolo Pascual on Sunday finally broke his silence on the real score between him and actress-TV host KC Concepcion. Pascual admitted on The Buzz, where Concepcion is a host, that he and the daughter of Megastar Sharon Cuneta are in a romantic relationship.

Concepcion became his girlfriend on October 21 last year, he revealed.

It took me 2 years (before she said yes). Tsaka na yung detalye. Basta thats one of the best days of my life. For the first time in more than 8 years, Im getting into a relationship, a commitment. And Im planning to keep it, he said.

Asked about his term of endearment to Concepcion, Pascual said, I call her my princess.

For months, Pascual and Concepcion have been mum on the status of their relationship, saying that they want to stay away from the huzzles and buzzles of showbiz. Pascual, in particular, wanted to keep things private so as not to affect his 13-year-old son, Iigo.

The reason why I never admitted naman was because may pinoprotektahan ako. I have a son, ayaw mong magkaroon ng ibang reaction yung bata. Hes only 13 years old, he explained.Mahirap talaga (for her) and I found it too unfair kasi siya lagi ang nagsasalita. So finally a couple of days ago I said na its time for me to speak upits also my responsibility para shes not left in the dark, para hindi siya nahihirapang sumagot.
The hunk actor also apologized to Concepcion, Sorry if it took me this long. Its a thorn off my chest, I must say.

KC is taken

Pascual said he also decided to announce his relationship with Concepcion so the latters admirers would no longer consider courting the actress. Among those rumored to have expressed interest in the Megadaughter are Azkals football player Phil Younghusband, actor Sam Milby, and apl.de.ap, the Filipino member of American hip hop group Black Eyed Peas.

Para matigilan na rin yung mga nagpaparinig kay Kristina (laughs), Pascual said.I wouldnt want to watch another interview para may magsabi na may crush sa kanya or gustong makipag-date. I just want them to know that shes taken.

Pascual thanked Concepcion for sticking it out with me and for being sobrang sobrang patient and understanding.

Asked if Concepcion is the woman hes willing to spend the rest of his life with, the hunk actor said, Siguro di naman ako aamin nang ganito or magta-take ng risk kung sa tingin ko di ko siya gusto makasama habangbuhay.

Enchong denies Erich-Kim tiff

For the Nth time, young actor Enchong Dee clarified that his on screen partner Erich Gonzales and co-star Kim Chiu are not involved in a rift. Dee appealed for people to stop speculating about the non-existent tiff.

Sa mga taong patuloy na gumagawa ng kuwento at naninira sa amin, sana tigilan niyo na. Ang masasabi ko po talaga na magkaibigan sila, walang ganon, said Dee.

The actor also denied that there is a budding romance between him and Chiu. He, however, admitted that he got something for the actress when he came back from a vacation in Hong Kong.

Meanwhile, Dee was recently launched as one of the new batch of Agimat Boys.

Along with actors Jason Abalos and Ejay Falcon, the 3 said they feel so honored in meeting actor and former Senator Ramon Revilla Sr., the original star of Agimat. Revilla told the 3 matinee idols to make the most out of their youth and always give their best in every project. He also teased them about their love lives.

Masuwerte kayong mga kabataan. Noong sikat din ako marami akong kaibigang chicks, Revilla said in jest.